When Love Turns to Contempt

TV fans know that soapies are not happy stories.  The story of Michal in the Bible (1 Samuel 18) appears to be such a story. Movies, commentators and preachers have shown her in an unfavourable light but she was a woman betrayed by the two men in her life, David and her father, King Saul. 

From the beginning it seems that the concerns of Michal's father, the servants and David revolved around David becoming the king's son in law. Michal however loved David who appears to have had the good looks of a young Brad Pitt. This is the only time in the Old Testament when we are told that a woman loved a man. We are never told that David loved Michal.

When things did not go well for David and Michal's father, Saul, tried to kill him, Michal saved David's life and helped him escape.  No sooner was David out the way that her father married her off to another man, Palti (1 Samuel 25:44).

In the next episode of this good soapie material we discover that David had been very busy while in exile and had acquired 6 wives! (2 Samuel 5:13). However, after being at war with Saul for seven years, he needed to strengthen his claim to rule Israel and to make peace with Saul so he used Michal again for what appears to be political gain. He says "bring me Michal, daughter of Saul" (2 Samuel 3:13). No sweet words, no expression of longing, only demand. Orders were given and she was taken from Palti, who wept behind her all the way. (2 Samuel 3:15)

Michal's love turned to contempt for David and when she saw him bringing in the ark of the covenant with most his clothes off she had only scorn for him.

In the final episode we discover that Michal had no children to the day of her death. The simple reason was that Michal and David never slept together again. She also had no children from Palti to whom she was married for at least 10 years.

Yesterday was Women’s Day in South Africa but there was little for women to celebrate as women and girls continue to be raped and abused. How do women who echo the tragic tale of Michal not lose sight of God’s grace in their pain? How do they stop the root of bitterness growing in their hearts? Only a willingness to respond to God gives God the opportunity to bring good out of abusive and painful situations and help for women to move forward with their lives. But first ask God to help you forgive those who have abused you whether physically or emotionally. Perhaps you may even need to ask help to forgive God.

Desmond Tutu says “When we ignore the pain, it grows bigger and bigger, and like an abscess that is never drained, eventually it will rupture. When that happens, it can reach into every area of our lives—our health, our families, our jobs, our friendships, our faith, and our very ability to feel joy may be diminished by the fallout from resentments, anger, and hurts that are never named.”  -The Book of Forgiving : The Fourfold Path for Healing Ourselves and Our World.